February 11, 2014

1.6 Bold Patch Update

Good morning / afternoon / evening!

It is my great pleasure and honor to announce the release of the way overdue 1min 1.6 patch update. We here at 1min© have been spending countless days and nights for the past year and a half fine-tuning and experimenting with the source code, so that you, the end-user, can have the best experience possible. We finally have something that we believe is deserving of a major patch update.

Going along with patch 1.5’s naming scheme, patch 1.6 will also be named after an adjective that we feel is our current objective and future plans. After much deliberation, we have finally arrived at the word, “Bold.” But wait, isn’t that the same word as patch 1.5? That’s a great observation! We here at 1min felt that although the overall trajectory of our design has not been altered from the “Bold” direction, there have been significant improvements made to the code that it deserved its own special patch number.

Similar to past patches, we have done a lot of bug testing and number crunching and have fixed and/or deleted a lot of previous updates. This is in no way indicative of our future aspirations or goals, but reflect what the management feels is necessary for the best possible experience.

Like all our other patches and releases, please do note that nothing is final and everything is subject to change without prior announcement. Feel free to contact customer service if you wish to lodge a complaint or put forth your two cents worth.

So without further ado, I present patch 1.6 “Bold.”

  • Changed general outlook on life from empathetic to selfish. 
    • There was much deliberation on the word choice of “selfish.” While we do recognize the negative connotations attached to this word, we feel that it is the most pertinent description of the current design direction we are following. Rather than picturing a heartless cold greedy person, try to picture a person who is more in tune with his own desires and is not afraid of pursuing them.
  • Goal in life changed to “happiness,” from previous “money.”
  • 1min is now 21!
    • Previously inaccessible locations are now open!
      •  Bars, GCB, liquor stores, etc.
  • The blog, “White People in Korean Places” has been removed due to lack of popularity.
    • Focus is now reverted back to the main blog, “1min” in addition to the new personal website, “1minlee.com"
  • Amount of events in calendars back to over 50 to reflect the recruiting season.
  • Amount of social interaction ramped back up to account for the new school year.
  • The “Write Articles about Adventures in China” seasonal event removed to reflect the end of summer.
  • Added several new Pandora stations, including Pop and Electronic stations.
  • Added the new Google Chrome extension, “Chat for Google” to facilitate chatting with friends whenever online.
  • Amount of songs downloaded reduced to 0 to avoid piracy issues.
  • Total amount of jobs applied to increased again by 100%.
  • Amount of interviews scheduled increased again by 100%.
  • Books are now counted not by pages-read-daily, but by books-read-per-semester. (This is to reflect the recent purchase of the B&N Nook)
    • Books read this semester up to 3, with an optimistic projection of 10 by the end of the Fall semester.
    • Chinese flashcards are now counted not by cards-made-daily, but by cards-done-weekly
      • Flashcards done weekly up to around 100, a huge nerf from the 500 or so during the China Summer Seasonal Event.
  • Time spent on learning HTML reduced to 0.
    • Instead of time spent learning web development, we are now tracking time spent improving the website.
  • Time spent on learning Java increased by 100%.
  •  Amount of anime episodes watched decreased back to 0, because anime sucks.
  • Amount of news articles read decreased unfortunately by 50%
  • Immense terror when encountering past acquaintances and friends mitigated by just avoiding past acquaintances and friends.
  • Mood swings practically non-existent. (Although it might be a bit too early to start celebrating whether or not we fixed the bug)
  • Motivation currently stable. (But still subject to random blackouts)
  • Confidence up 63% to reflect recent lifestyle changes.
2min, the Halloween Clone
  • New quest, “Do Everything You Didn’t Do the Previous Years at Brown” has been added!
    • Side-quests include:
      • Acapella concerts
      • Organ concerts
      • Music recitals
      • Student plays
      • SPG
      • GCB
  • New quest, “Attempt to Swim 3 or 4 Times per Week” has been added!
  • New quest, “Eat Less Fatty Things!” has been added!
  • Bed lowered closer to the ground to reflect the new “down to Earth” attitude.
  • Created a clone, 2min, for Halloween!
    • Users can interact with 2min as they would with 1min—just don’t expect any response.
  • Time spent with friends vastly increased.
  • Time spent cooking reduced by 50%, money spent on food increased by 50%.
  • Amount of dreams recorded daily reduced back to 0 in light of busy morning schedules.
  • Changed clothing style back to winter from summer.
  • Daily hygiene scaled way back up to accommodate a social life.
And of course, this would not be a major patch update if we did not have any major bugs! Here is a list of bugs that the developers are aware of and are hard at work trying to solve. We thank you kindly for your understanding and patience as we work to resolve these issues.

  • Motivation drops to 0 when opening websites such as “reddit.com” or “youtube.com”
    • Motivation to blog has also been very unstable.
  • Procrastination is still high, but has seen some improvement in the past few months.
  • The “Don’t Expect Things from Others” quest is still bugging out every now and then.
  • The “Don’t Question Others’ Motives” quest is also bugging out.
  • The “Treat Close Friends with Respect” quest is currently bugged but is being worked on.
  • The “Care Less about Facebook” quest is a complete mess and users are advised to not even bother attempting it.
  • Biting nails is still proving to be a prominent and difficult issue.
  • Time spent in room is still relatively high, despite efforts to lower it.

On a side note, this was my patch update I wrote for my final year at Brown University.

On a side note, please click here for the previous patch notes.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

We want the latest patch update!! haha.

Why not self aware instead of selfish?

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