November 08, 2012

1.5 Bold Patch Update

Good evening!

It is my pleasure to announce the release of the 1min 1.5 major patch update, “Bold!” We at 1min© have been hard at work for the past few months fine-tuning the contents of this patch for the best end-user experience. We kept our company’s, our shareholder’s, and most importantly, our consumer’s interests in mind when designing this patch.

Please note, that with this major update, all previous updates, 2.0, 3.0, and 4.0, have been renamed 1.2, 1.3, and 1.4 respectively. We believe that the previous naming style over exaggerated the significance and impact of the patches. Therefore, this new naming style should compensate for that psychological effect.

So without further ado, I present patch 1.5 “Bold.”

  • Changed general outlook on life from cynical to empathetic.
  • Motivation will now be derived from self rather than “others.” 
  • Amount of Brown alumni contacted weekly scaled back down to 0 due to time issues. 
  • Amount of video games played scaled up to reflect the changes in free time. 
  • Main summer goal changed to social skills, instead of nothing. 
  • New goal of “talking to strangers” has been introduced! 
  • New blog, “White People in Korean Places” has been added! 
  • Amount of events in calendars reduced to 0, down from over 50. 
  • Amount of social interaction reduced to very little, down from not much more. 
  • Removed the Google Chrome extension, StayFocusd. Previously blocked websites are now viewable! 
  • Amount of songs downloaded increased by over 100. 
  • Total amount of jobs applied to decreased by 100%. 
  • Amount of interviews scheduled decreased by 100%. 
  • Two new multiplayer games have been downloaded for the PS3 system. Read more about them here and here. 
  • The “stay in touch with friends via hand-written letters” quest was removed due to lack of popularity.
  • Amount of pages of books read daily changed to 30~40, up from 0.
  • Focus and attention span increased drastically in step with the increase to books read. 
  • Number of Chinese flashcards made daily increased to 50, up from 0. 
  • Time spent on learning HTML dramatically increased. 
  • Amount of anime episodes watched increased to once a week, up from none. 
  • Amount of news articles read increased by over 100%. 
  • Amount of dreams recorded daily now ranges from 0 to 1.
  • Fixed extremely long and ugly hair style to better fit the weather and temperature.
  • Changed clothing style from winter to summer. 
  • Daily hygiene scaled down to infrequent to reflect changes in social life.
While we have drastically changed a lot of content, we still recognize that there is still a lot of work to do. After all, programming for a complex human being is no easy task! So here is a list of known bugs that we are working on solving.

  • Immense terror seems to appear when encountering past acquaintances, especially from childhood or high school days.
  • The “approach the boss” quest seems to cause significant lag and on certain occasions, crashes the client completely.
  • The “stay in touch with friends via Facebook” quest is bugged and won’t correctly reward the player with any response.
  • Frequency of mood swings seems to have increased since summer began.
  • Motivation seems to be very buggy and volatile. 
  • Procrastination is at a record high.
  • Biting nails is still proving to be a prominent and difficult issue.

On a side note, this was a post that I wrote on June of 2011, so a little over a year ago. I discovered it in my documents folder and had a good laugh at what my state of mind was back then.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

haha. This is awesome! You should have a new release for Nov 2012.

Post a Comment